grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
