No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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