Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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