I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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