Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
