Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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