Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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