we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
