my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
