hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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