remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize