: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
