so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
