just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
