just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm sobbing to NWA
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
