yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
