I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
