i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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