I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
