what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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