it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
bring money and cleavage
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
