I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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