you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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