why didn't you poke me back
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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