I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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