the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
