I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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