what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
