I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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