so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
