my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
