My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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