dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
