Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
