That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
