Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
