I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
