I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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