Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
