He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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