I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
