we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
