Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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