I didn't shave. On purpose
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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