it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
third nipple confirmed
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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