Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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