is your mom at the bar?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
