I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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