come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
