i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Boobs speak an international language.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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