I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
