Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
