he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
