I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
