I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
