the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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