My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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