I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
