If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
